scrolling through what comes up here when you search for Ben Breedlove in the tags is amazing. how can one 18 year old kid from austin have had such an impact on so many people? it’s incredible - and i’m so glad that his family is supportive of this. i love that his father wanted to do a live stream of the funeral. i’m glad that his sister mentions his viewers in every interview she gives. the effect Ben had while he was alive on thousands of people is truly amazing.

i’ve felt really sad all day, with Ben on my mind. it’s honestly a weird feeling - i’ve never met him. i don’t know him. but he’s someone whose life i watched for the past … almost 2 years i guess. he’s someone i’ve shared conversation with, via youtube. he’s someone who’s face and voice i’ve gotten to know and it’s shocking to know that he’s gone. it’s not like a celebrity death where you hear about it, feel sad, and then move on but at the same time, it’s not like when a friend dies where it’s like your world is ending. it’s somewhere in between and i’ve been really unsure of how to react and how to talk and think about it. i don’t want to cry and melt down because i feel that would be insulting to the people who he knew in real life. but i don’t want to not give him any thought at all, either, because he is someone i’ve gotten to know.
it’s just a strange feeling, you know? i wish i knew how i’m supposed react, but all i can do is deal with it however i can.

“do you believe in angels and God? i do.”

+ 12.30.2011